Mike Ault's thoughts on various topics, Oracle related and not. Note: I reserve the right to delete comments that are not contributing to the overall theme of the BLOG or are insulting or demeaning to anyone. The posts on this blog are provided “as is” with no warranties and confer no rights. The opinions expressed on this site are mine and mine alone, and do not necessarily represent those of my employer.

Thursday, July 21, 2005

DBA's Desiderata

When I was a teen in the 60's and 70's there was a poem called "Desiderata" that gave simple suggestions for living a good life. I couldn't help when I came across it the other day converting it to a DBA's Desiderata:

DBA'S DESIDERATA

GO PLACIDLY AMID THE NOISE AND HASTE,
AND REMEMEMBER WHAT PEACE THERE IS IN GOOD BACKUPS.

AS MUCH AS POSSIBLE WITHOUT SURRENDER
BE ON GOOD TERMS WITH ALL PERSONS, EVEN MANAGERS.

SPEAK YOUR TRUTH QUIETLY AND CLEARLY,
AND LISTEN TO OTHERS,
EVEN THE DULL, IGNORANT AND SYSTEM ADMINS, THEY TOO HAVE THEIR STORY.

AVOID LOUD AND AGGRESSIVE SALESPEOPLE,
THEY ARE A VEXATION TO THE SPIRIT.

IF YOU COMPARE YOUR DATABASE WITH OTHERS,
YOU MAY BECOME VAIN OR BITTER, FOR ALWAYS THERE WILL
BE GREATER AND LESSER DATABASES THAN YOURS.

ENJOY YOUR ORACLE ACHIEVEMENTS AS WELL AS YOUR PLANS.

KEEP INTERESTED IN YOUR OWN ORACLE CAREER,
HOWEVER HUMBLE,
IT IS A REAL POSSESSION IN THE CHANGING
FORTUNES OF BUSINESS.

EXERCISE CAUTION IN YOUR DATABASE MANAGEMENT,
FOR THE DBA WORLD IS FULL OF QUACKERY,
BUT LET THIS NOT BLIND YOU TO WHAT VIRTUE THERE IS,
MANY DBAS STRIVE FOR HIGH IDEALS,
AND EVERYWHERE LIFE IS FULL OF PROPER TECHNIQUES.

BE YOURSELF.
ESPECIALLY, DO NOT FEIGN AFFECTION FOR OTHER DATABASES.
NEITHER BE CYNICAL ABOUT TUNING,
FOR IN THE FACE OF ALL ARIDITY AND DISENCHANTMENT
IT'S NEED IS AS PERENNIAL AS THE GRASS.

TAKE KINDLY THE COUNSEL OF THE YEARS,
GRACEFULLY SURRENDERING THE BELIEFS OF YOUTH.
NUTURE STRENGTH OF BANK ACCOUNT TO SHIELD YOU
IN SUDDEN LAYOFF,
BUT DO NOT DISTRESS YOURSELF WITH IMAGININGS.
MANY FEARS ARE BORN OF FATIGUE, LONELINESS AND BABYSITTING UPGRADES.

BEYOND A WHOLESOME DISCIPLINE,
BE GENTLE WITH THE DATABASE.
IT IS A CHILD OF THE ORACLE UNIVERSE,
NO LESS THAT THE OLTPS AND THE DWHS,
IT HAS A RIGHT TO BE HERE.

AND WHETHER OR NOT IT IS CLEAR TO YOU,
NO DOUBT THE DATABASE IS ROLLING BACK AS IT SHOULD.

THEREFORE BE AT PEACE WITH ELLISON,
WHATEVER YOU CONCEIVE HIM TO BE,
AND WHATEVER YOUR LABORS AND ASPIRATIONS,
IN THE NOISY CONFUSION OF BUSINESS
KEEP MONITORING YOUR DATABASE.

WITH ALL ITS SHAM, DRUDGERY AND BROKEN DREAMS,
ORACLE IS STILL A GOOD DATABASE.

BE CAREFUL WITH UPGRADES.

STRIVE TO BE HAPPY.

Mike ...from DB central, Alpharetta, Ga.

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3 comments:

Bill S. said...

There can only be one comment to that:

Amen.

;-D

Jeff Hunter said...

There once was a Sr. DBA from Nantucket,
Whose Junior passed OCP by luck. it
seemed so easy,
looks very breezy,
but when he saw 1400 pages he said, forget it.

Lorna said...

Your blog is great! It's hard to find blogs with good content and people talking about Database Management these days! I have a secret Database Management Exposed if you want to come check it out