DBA's Desiderata

When I was a teen in the 60's and 70's there was a poem called "Desiderata" that gave simple suggestions for living a good life. I couldn't help when I came across it the other day converting it to a DBA's Desiderata:

DBA'S DESIDERATA

GO PLACIDLY AMID THE NOISE AND HASTE,
AND REMEMEMBER WHAT PEACE THERE IS IN GOOD BACKUPS.

AS MUCH AS POSSIBLE WITHOUT SURRENDER
BE ON GOOD TERMS WITH ALL PERSONS, EVEN MANAGERS.

SPEAK YOUR TRUTH QUIETLY AND CLEARLY,
AND LISTEN TO OTHERS,
EVEN THE DULL, IGNORANT AND SYSTEM ADMINS, THEY TOO HAVE THEIR STORY.

AVOID LOUD AND AGGRESSIVE SALESPEOPLE,
THEY ARE A VEXATION TO THE SPIRIT.

IF YOU COMPARE YOUR DATABASE WITH OTHERS,
YOU MAY BECOME VAIN OR BITTER, FOR ALWAYS THERE WILL
BE GREATER AND LESSER DATABASES THAN YOURS.

ENJOY YOUR ORACLE ACHIEVEMENTS AS WELL AS YOUR PLANS.

KEEP INTERESTED IN YOUR OWN ORACLE CAREER,
HOWEVER HUMBLE,
IT IS A REAL POSSESSION IN THE CHANGING
FORTUNES OF BUSINESS.

EXERCISE CAUTION IN YOUR DATABASE MANAGEMENT,
FOR THE DBA WORLD IS FULL OF QUACKERY,
BUT LET THIS NOT BLIND YOU TO WHAT VIRTUE THERE IS,
MANY DBAS STRIVE FOR HIGH IDEALS,
AND EVERYWHERE LIFE IS FULL OF PROPER TECHNIQUES.

BE YOURSELF.
ESPECIALLY, DO NOT FEIGN AFFECTION FOR OTHER DATABASES.
NEITHER BE CYNICAL ABOUT TUNING,
FOR IN THE FACE OF ALL ARIDITY AND DISENCHANTMENT
IT'S NEED IS AS PERENNIAL AS THE GRASS.

TAKE KINDLY THE COUNSEL OF THE YEARS,
GRACEFULLY SURRENDERING THE BELIEFS OF YOUTH.
NUTURE STRENGTH OF BANK ACCOUNT TO SHIELD YOU
IN SUDDEN LAYOFF,
BUT DO NOT DISTRESS YOURSELF WITH IMAGININGS.
MANY FEARS ARE BORN OF FATIGUE, LONELINESS AND BABYSITTING UPGRADES.

BEYOND A WHOLESOME DISCIPLINE,
BE GENTLE WITH THE DATABASE.
IT IS A CHILD OF THE ORACLE UNIVERSE,
NO LESS THAT THE OLTPS AND THE DWHS,
IT HAS A RIGHT TO BE HERE.

AND WHETHER OR NOT IT IS CLEAR TO YOU,
NO DOUBT THE DATABASE IS ROLLING BACK AS IT SHOULD.

THEREFORE BE AT PEACE WITH ELLISON,
WHATEVER YOU CONCEIVE HIM TO BE,
AND WHATEVER YOUR LABORS AND ASPIRATIONS,
IN THE NOISY CONFUSION OF BUSINESS
KEEP MONITORING YOUR DATABASE.

WITH ALL ITS SHAM, DRUDGERY AND BROKEN DREAMS,
ORACLE IS STILL A GOOD DATABASE.

BE CAREFUL WITH UPGRADES.

STRIVE TO BE HAPPY.

Mike ...from DB central, Alpharetta, Ga.

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